It’s Positive !

I used to have a timeline for my dreams and for myself. By the age of 18, I should graduate from college, by 25 I should have my own family, get married and have kids. Yet, it’s God who decides for us.

Two years ago, I was diagnosed with PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome) is a condition in which a woman’s levels of the sex hormones estrogen and progesterone are out of balance. This leads to the growth of ovarian cysts (benign masses on the ovaries). PCOS can cause problems with a women’s menstrual cycle, cardiac function, appearance, and worst – fertility. (For more information, please wait for my blog about PCOS or just research it in Google.)

When I first discovered it, I just shrug off my shoulder then let it pass to the other side of my ear. It was by 2015 that I took it seriously. When again my menstruation become less frequent, aside from being irregular and other symptoms such as weight gain, anxiety, mood swings become more frequent.

Aside from that, I notice that more and more of my batch mates are becoming a mother. Pressured eh ?  I was afraid that I will not be able to bear a child if I still ignore it. Also, we were really planning to have a child soon,though we were just in our mid-twenties.

I started seeing my second OB Dr. Esther Ongkeko, a resident OB-Gyn at Victor R. Potenciano Medical Center (also known as Polymedic General Hospital, Inc.). She was really good and kind and calm. By the symptoms I told her, she easily identified it as PCOS. And joke that it was her specialty. She made me undergo a number of laboratories which confirms my case. Then she let me choose between two options, either to take a pill or the natural way (which requires a lot of patient and time management-it is some kind of a cream, forgot the name, though) to make my menstruation regular, or even close to it. She also told me that PCOS is not curable but preventable.

I started taking Diane pills ( yes, I chose the less hassle option) by September 2015.  As far as I remember, it cost Php 648.00 in Mercury Drug Stores. Then eventually, my menstruation visits become monthly. Fortunately, I didn’t feel any negative side effects from taking one. But I stop taking it when January 2017 enters. I decided to try what others said about stopping the pills and it might get you pregnant.

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For months, my menstruation became close to regular, meaning I had my monthly visits but the dates were not accurate. By May 2017, it stopped until June. I then schedule my appointment with Dr. Ongkeko for my check up by June 22.  Had undergone pap smear, Pregnancy Test, Ultrasound, and BhCG test – a pregnancy test  thru blood. All my test turned out to be negative. I was expecting it as well since I am not feeling anything inside my tummy or even the early symptoms of pregnancy such a vomiting.

Then Dr. Ongkeko schedules an appointment after a month, that will be on July 13. I still haven’t had my monthly visit by then. The night before my appointment with her, I already took my Pregnancy Test. I was thinking, since I haven’t had my mens since my last visit to her, she would then told me to do the PT in her office and it was costly for me hahaha :). And the test was Positive ?! I can’t decide because it was just a faint pink line then just shrugs off my shoulder.

By morning, at the Hospital, before proceeding to Dr. Ongkeko’s office , I took another test, I don’t know, my instinct was urging me to do so. And boom, it was very clear – two red lines. It’s POSITIVE ! I reallyyyy can’t believe.

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When my time comes, I show my PT results to Dr. Ongkeko and ask for confirmation if it was really positive. I had my emotions mixed. Then she told me that ” Yes! It’s positive! Congrats, you can’t deny it ! :)” . She prescribed me with prenatal vitamins for the baby and for me.

When I came out of the Hospital, I was like floating on cloud nine. I couldn’t explain how I feel. I’m so happy and excited and anxious and worried and mesmerized. I really can’t believe. And above all, I am so thankful to God that in spite and despite all my mistakes, I am still too bless!

I didn’t tell Maue right away, I want it to be personal. By evening, when he comes home, I show him an ampao and ask me what was that. I told him to open it. When he realize what he saw, he  hugged me so tight and I could feel tears were flowing in his face. He was speechless 🙂 I was too. Now, our grand adventure is about to begin!

I always believe that if it’s God’s will, it will come true. You just have to trust him with all your hearts and surrender. No one’s perfect, we are just human and making mistakes is one of our nature. But our Merciful God never forgets to forgive us and still look after us after everything we’ve done. All we just have to do is pray and trust HIM!

Shall I say, Welcome to motherhood to self then eh ?! ♥♥♥