I know crying is all I need. A long hard cry. I was silently hoping that this tears will take away , well maybe not all, but some of my heavy baggage’s inside. I’ve been wanting to cry so hard not minding if my eyes may swell. But I know I can’t, coz’ I’m living in a place where even when you snort to deep sleep , your neighbor can hear it. But I really need to cry this feeling out. I don’t have someone to talk to … leaving me with no choice but to keep all my heartaches to myself; my only outlet at times , my only option is to let this tears run dry. I know it will not solve the problem itself but it will lessen the burden inside.
Ever since my parents separated ways when I was 10 years old, crying alone out at night has become my outlet, it has become my comfort zone. Crying myself out has been my charger, it is where I’m getting my strength.
For me, crying isn’t a sin neither it isn’t a sign of weakness. It’s a sign of being strong. It’s an indication that throughout the day, I was fighting the life’s reality so hard that at night I need to recharge myself through releasing all those pains, doubts, fears and all the negative thoughts. So that tomorrow, I will courageously face the world again.
“…you know that a good, long session of weeping can often make you feel better, even if your circumstances have not changed one bit.”
― Lemony Snicket,